You're Not Being Kind By Staying Silent, You're Being Selfish
Someone on your team turned in work below the standard. So you fixed it yourself and said nothing. Or you gave them a vague "good effort" while privately frustrated. Or you're saving it for the annual review six months from now.
None of that is kindness. All of it is costing your team their growth.
Feedback is the most powerful development tool a leader has. But most of us were never taught how to give it in a way that actually lands without damaging the relationship or losing the person.
In this episode, I break down why the feedback you're avoiding is doing more harm than good and give you the SBI Framework, a simple three-step tool that makes honest feedback feel less like an attack and more like a conversation.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
→ The two failure modes of feedback - avoidance and aggression - and why both destroy teams
→ Why withholding feedback is not kindness - it's a slow form of dishonesty
→ The 3 principles that determine whether feedback actually works
→ The SBI Framework - Situation, Behaviour, Impact - and how to use it in your next conversation
→ The one question to ask after every piece of feedback that keeps people engaged instead of defensive
THE SBI FRAMEWORK
S — Situation: Ground it in a specific moment. Not "you always do this" - "in yesterday's meeting..."
B — Behaviour: Describe exactly what you observed. Not what you felt. Not what you assumed. What you saw.
I — Impact: Share the real effect on the team, the client, or the work. Make it concrete, not emotional.
Then ask: "What was going on for you in that moment?" Open a dialogue. Not a verdict.
CONNECT WITH WACHIRA
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wachiraspeaks/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mutathi-wachira/
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wachira.speaks
None of that is kindness. All of it is costing your team their growth.
Feedback is the most powerful development tool a leader has. But most of us were never taught how to give it in a way that actually lands without damaging the relationship or losing the person.
In this episode, I break down why the feedback you're avoiding is doing more harm than good and give you the SBI Framework, a simple three-step tool that makes honest feedback feel less like an attack and more like a conversation.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
→ The two failure modes of feedback - avoidance and aggression - and why both destroy teams
→ Why withholding feedback is not kindness - it's a slow form of dishonesty
→ The 3 principles that determine whether feedback actually works
→ The SBI Framework - Situation, Behaviour, Impact - and how to use it in your next conversation
→ The one question to ask after every piece of feedback that keeps people engaged instead of defensive
THE SBI FRAMEWORK
S — Situation: Ground it in a specific moment. Not "you always do this" - "in yesterday's meeting..."
B — Behaviour: Describe exactly what you observed. Not what you felt. Not what you assumed. What you saw.
I — Impact: Share the real effect on the team, the client, or the work. Make it concrete, not emotional.
Then ask: "What was going on for you in that moment?" Open a dialogue. Not a verdict.
CONNECT WITH WACHIRA
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wachiraspeaks/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mutathi-wachira/
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wachira.speaks
Connect with Wachira